The 5 Love Languages Review – How to Talk to Your Lover with Your Feet on the Ground, not in Your Mouth

By | February 12, 2017
The Five Love Languages

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

This is a book about not only communicating, but communicating with intent using your partner’s native, primary love language.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, or have never heard of a “love language” then you have to check out this review!

Product:  The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

Review Type: Single Product

Product Type:  Book

Author:  Gary Chapman

Publisher:  Northfield Publishing

Number of Pages:  208

Cheapest Place to Buy:

Price:  $9.59 (paperback) – 7.19 (Kindle) – 12.99 (Hard Cover)

My Rating:  4 out of 5

Tags: #mustread #books #relationship #marriage #fioj

The 5 Love Languages Overview

Imagine for a moment, what would happen if, when you woke up today, the only language you could speak was Spanish, after speaking English only your whole life.

Now take that a bit further by pretending that the person that you love most in the world woke up and could only speak German!

Think about what that would be like.  Think about how hard it would be to communicate, how hard it would be to even understand what had happened.

Think about the hand gestures, facial expressions and body language, because that is all you would be able to depend on really.

I mean, you might pick up a word here or there that was understandable, but for the most part you’d have no choice but to rely solely on the universal aspects of conversation.

That would be crazy!  Yet, that’s how many of us go through our lives.  Every. Single.  Day.

Stop Squawking and Start Talking

Meaning, your partner’s language, specifically their love language.

That’s what Gary Chapman is helping us understand in this book.  He explains that just because you like to receive flowers and that means the world to YOU, I couldn’t care less about receiving flowers.

Now, that may seem a little confusing to you at this point, and that’s understandable.  Suffice it to say that people like different things, but it goes deeper than that.

As it turns out, there are a total of five (5) love languages, specifically:

  • Gift Giving
  • Quality Time
  • Words of Affirmation
  • Acts of Service (Devotion)
  • Physical Touch

Seems pretty simple, doesn’t it?  Newsflash:  It is!

Once you’ve identified your partner’s (or anyone’s) love language and you start thinking about what motivates them, once you start empathizing with how they think, things get MUCH easier…on everyone.

One thing that was unclear to me when I started reading this book were the dialects.  Like spoken languages, there are dialects…infinite dialects.

One might say that there are as many dialects as there are people.

But then that’s where the challenge comes in.  This book will give you the tools you need to deal with all people in any of the big five, but then it’s up to you to figure out how to finesse your specific situation and partner.

 Talking to Those You Love Does Not Have to be Hard

The nice thing about how Gary Chapman lays things out in this book is that you come away feeling empowered.

This is not one of those books that you read once and then set on a shelf.  You’re going to want to flip it back open from time to time and review those parts that really have to do with your life.

In fact, love languages aren’t just for lovers.  You can better reach anyone when you’re talking their “language”.

At the bottom of this article you’ll find related books, all by Gary Chapman, all putting a different spin on things, but all having to do with the 5 love languages.

Romantic Love is a Choice, Limerence is an Accident

One of the things this book points out is that that love is a choice.  Immature love, love that is infatuous in nature is something best left for the young.

In fact, there’s a word that was created to specifically describe that feeling that often accompanies new love.  That word is limerence and it describes that feeling when you can’t get a person out of your mind, that almost achy yearning one feels for another.

That is not the romantic, mature love that is being sought after by Chapman.  His intention is to get you closer to those that you want to be closer to in a deep meaningful sense.

Another recommendation; after reading this book alone, read it with your partner (or just read it the first time together).  Get it on audio book and listen to it, or just read it out loud between the two of you, alternatively by two of them and coordinate reading chapters so that you can discuss them.

It’s an amazing experience!

The Reason I Gave This Book a 4.5 out of 5 Rating

I love the book “The 5 Love Languages”, I really do, and apparently so do well over 10,000 other people because it has an almost perfect 5-star rating from Amazon!

The reason I gave it a 4.5 out of 5 is because of the series itself.

Many of the books in the series are the same book, just with different examples and other details that cater to the audience the book is targeted at.

I believe this was Gary Chapman’s intent, it’s just not overly clear.  Some people, as a result, are disappointed with secondary purchases because they are looking for more information, only to be disappointed with the subsequent books because they’re basically the same.

The Books:

In order to help you out, I’m going to list the books here and talk about each of them just a bit so that you can get a feel for which would be best for you, that way you don’t have to worry about getting the same book with different details.

If you think about it, it really makes a lot of sense.  He is, in a way, communicating directly with you by gearing books specifically to types of people.

I’ll also tell you when one of the books is very different.

The Five Love LanguagesThe 5 Love Languages:  The Secret to Love That Lasts

This book is the “original”.  It appeals to the broadest audience and has all the original examples.

If none of the others that are listed here appeal directly to you, then I’d advise you to grab this one.

All the books will essentially give you the same information, though the ones that are geared toward a specific audience are likely to speak to you better than others.

The 5 Love Languages / The 5 Love Languages Men’s Edition / The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers / The 5 Love Languages of Children

The Five Love Languages SetThis will save you some time and some money.  Get the four main editions that have different content from different perspectives.

This collection contains the four main selections having to do with the 5 love languages in general, from a man’s perspective, how to determine and learn your children’s love language, and how to use the tools to help with the teenage years.

This collection is something that you will be able to use in all facets of your life and I predict they will keep you coming back to reference time and again.

The 5 Love Languages Singles Edition

The Five Love Languages Singles EditionThis version of the book is targeted toward single, obviously.  It ultimately conveys a similar message, but it gears things toward the perspective of those that are unmarried.

Singles mustn’t be left out because they can keep from making the same mistakes that so many of us went through.

It’s also great for young people coming up through the ranks because, why not speak your bosses’ love language…it might just be what gets you that promotion!

 The 5 Love Languages for Men:  Tools for Making a Good Relationship Great

The 5 Love Languages for Men:  Tools for Making a Good Relationship GreatThis is another version that is very much like the original except the details are geared toward men.

However, there are a couple of sections in this particular book that aren’t in some of the others:

  • How to Deal with Anger in a Healthy Way
  • How to Apologize Effectively

Not really surprising though, considering the target audience. 🙂

The 5 Love Languages of Children:  The Secret to Loving Children Effectively

The Five Love Languages of ChildrenThis book is quite a bit different, and it would kind of have to be, wouldn’t it?

This book is about how to love children effectively and takes you through discipline and managing anger.

It also has a test at the end to help you figure out what your child’s love language is.  This test is for older children that can put thoughts into words effectively.

The 5 Love Languages Military Edition:  The Secret to Love That Lasts

The Five Love Languages Military EditionAgain, this book is the same as the rest, but it has examples and some details that are specific to the military way of life.

The military has a whole unique set of challenges to make life more difficult.

This book gives you the tools you need to foster a more loving and caring relationship between spouses enduring the hardships of military struggles.  Just don’t try it on your drill sergeant! 🙂

The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers:  The Secret to Loving Teens Effectively

The Five Love Languages of TeenagersThis book is different than the main series.  It deals with teenagers, especially troubled teenagers.

The teen years are arguably the toughest in many relationships between them, parents and others that love them.

This book in the greater series will help parents deal with their teenagers and possibly shed some light on why they act out specific to your situation.

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The 5 Love Languages
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The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
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9 thoughts on “The 5 Love Languages Review – How to Talk to Your Lover with Your Feet on the Ground, not in Your Mouth

  1. Jennifer

    I love this! I didn’t realize there were so many books related to the 5 Love Languages. I have read the first one and learned so much from it. After looking at your site, I realize that I will need to read some more. Thank you for listing the books out for me. This will certainly help me in choosing which to purchase next.

    1. Jack Post author

      You’re very welcome. Oh yes, I’d be willing to bet that you could find a “Five Love Language” with just about any spin on it. He’s even got one that is geared toward “the working man”.

      It’s kind of funny, as a fellow working man, he gears a lot of the stories in what I’d like to categorize as …earthy. 🙂

      Glad to know that I helped you learn something you didn’t know today!

      Thanks for visiting, hope to see you around again soon.

  2. Arief Wibowo

    I really love this book. It helped me win the heart of my girlfriend 17 years ago. We have been happily married for 9 years. Now we are always practicing this and pour all 5 languages to our daughter.

    I need to re-read this at least once in a year. Just to refresh my memory and to check how I have been doing to express my love to my family.

    1. Jack Post author

      That’s a great story Arief! I’m so glad that you found something worthwhile in these books.

      What an amazing concept to work toward filling your child’s life with ALL the love languages. Seems like that could end up resulting in a very balanced individual that would be able to take meaningful love from almost anything!

      I wish I’d read this series while my children were still young, they’ve all developed into fine stable individuals, but it would have staved off so many misunderstandings that, looking back, seem very trivial.

      Thanks for commenting!

  3. Mike

    Excellent review. This Chapman fellow seems to have the LOVE side of things well covered and you have a good grip on what he is trying to say. The key, of course, is learning and then putting the things we learn into practise. The world will be a better place if we can. Thank-you.

    1. Jack Post author

      You’re welcome! The books are the beginning of a journey for sure. It’s a bit of a paradigm shift as you read through the pages of these books and begin to accept all that they teach.

      The lessons are very practical, but a new world opens up as you begin to recognize the wisdom, not just the practical intelligence that is contained between the covers.

      There is a lot of repetitive content in many of the books, but even that is somewhat welcome. I can tell you that every time I read one of the books, I pick up something else that I missed the first time through.

      Thanks for taking the time to comment!

  4. Brandon

    Wow, I’ve never heard of this book. However, by the looks of it I can clearly see I’m missing out on some great information that it offers. Even though my love life is pretty good right now, these books can definitely be something to consider later down the line if I ever need them. I had no idea that there were 5 love languages. I would say quality time is probably the most important, what’s your thoughts on this?

    Cheers for the great article, Jack


    1. Jack Post author

      Ah Brandon, I strongly advise that you take the time to look through this book, and others of its ilk, now…BEFORE you need it!

      I can tell you from personal experience that waiting until you NEED this information is likely to end up for a very uncomfortable experience indeed.

      Learn how to speak to your loved ones in their native love language before there are problems, and I can practically guarantee that you will not HAVE problems in the first place.

      I was naive once, I, like you, thought that my wife and I would have problems, but nothing would ever be big enough to tear us apart. And I was right, it wasn’t anything big that tore us apart…it was the minutiae of life! Our love almost died the death of a thousand micro-cuts.

      I urge you, don’t let this happen to you, learn to love the right way. Completely, honestly, with noble intent and purity of heart, you won’t regret it.

      To answer your question, I’d guide you to my series that goes through each of the love languages in more detail.

      Thanks for your comment, and I hope to see you again soon.

  5. Garen

    My wife actually finished reading this book last month, and I finished reading it last weekend. Usually, I don’t really like books like this, but since she referred it to me and I do love her, I decided to read it. She constantly talked about it, without giving the story away.

    But, I really do think of this as a self-help book where Gary gives 5 different situations and how you should apply each method to your life. However, I can see how this would benefit white Christian couples. But, for me, I am in a relationship with a Hindu girl. Some of our customs and ways of life are completely different. But, that is not really a bad thing in my eyes. I think it makes a relationship more interesting, though.

    That is interesting about the way you put masturbation into your review. Good point, but it was something that needs to be said. I mean Morman’s believe masturbation is a sin. But, when someone acts as if they are playing god I guess it means they have to be of the “right” religion, huh? It was an easy read, and I found it hard to put the book down.

    Certainly, would recommend it to everyone. I almost want to read it again!


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