Men tend to confuse and frustrate women, find out how to repair your relationship and keep him from pulling away. Silence your vice of vanity!
We Get What We Deserve
I know, you’re probably thinking: “The nerve of this guy!”
Well, the statement is true! I stand by it! Here’s the rub, we DO get what we deserve, and if you reflect on the past a little bit objectively, I think you’ll see it. Nature doesn’t discriminate between the gazelle and the cheetah. If you are enabling behavior, after the first time it happens you are as much to blame as the person that is instigating the issue.
Chances are you may have allowed a cycle of events to play out, maybe as a result certain expectations were established.
Let me put it to you in a different way, and let me be blunt…if you are willing to let someone treat you like shit, chances are they will!
If you are willing to settle for mediocrity, then why wouldn’t people see you as…well, mediocre?
If you demand respect, command attention, and develop confidence then you’ll deserve something else. Try it, you might like it.
Silence that Inner Demon!
Next, silence that little voice in your mind that is incessantly telling you how pathetic and wanting your mind, body, voice, skin, or whatever your vice of vanity is. I guarantee you that whatever you think is bad, isn’t nearly as bad as you think it is.
And really, who cares? Who have you met that is perfect? Even those people that you tend to put on pedestals, that you think are “all that” are not!
They still have the same bodily functions we all do. They likely make silly faces when they sneeze…or orgasm. 😉
Everyone looks silly when they’re being tickled, startled, or when they stub their toe on a coffee table. The point is, that idol you’re worshiping is no better than you, they’ve just understood something you don’t, and maybe they’ve put more energy into what they want.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and realize that you are beautiful, you are who you’re supposed to be, but the universe needs your help…to help you.
So Why Do Men Pull Away?
Well, I’ve given you some hints, haven’t I?
Let me ask you some questions: Do you go after guys that come across whiny? Do you go after guys that are boring? Is that special someone that amazingly pensive, low-confidence guy, shyly glancing at you from across the room?
No?! You don’t say! Really?! ⇐ That is sarcasm…just wanted to make myself clear here.
So, let me ask you another question: Why should men feel different about you?
Just because you hide your lucid faults behind a facade of confidence, you think that little part of primitive instinct men have can’t smell your lack of confidence, your brewing fear?
You think that you women are the only ones with intuition? Really?!
Like women, evolution has given men certain gifts that our very survival used to hinge on, being able to smell fear, being able to feel when something’s not right.
You might be able to fool us for a while, but it’s not going to take long and we’re going to see all your insecurities. My message to you is that these insecurities are in your mind! I’m not sending you the message the rest of the world is; that you have to hide who you are. The only way you gain true confidence is to accept yourself first, that’s what is contagious…but I digress.
Men and Women are A Lot More Alike than You May Realize
Despite what your experiences may have taught you over the years, men and women want similar things.
It’s true that the details vary between us, but a man wants to feel loved. He wants to feel important, and strong.
A man wants to feel as if he’s the only thing in the world that matters to you, and that you’d prefer him even over Robert Downy Jr.
Taking the time to really get to know your man, both generally as the gender, and specifically as an individual, is something that is going to be an investment that will yield heart-shaped dividends forever.
Like you want a man you can be proud of, men want to be proud of you! Sure, there are men out there that want a woman that they can dangle on their arm and that their friends will drool over.
But a lot of that is the message that corporations are sending out to sell you makeup and gimmick diets. What the less shallow among us REALLY want, is a woman that “gets us”. A woman we can have a conversation with about things we like. Things like:
- Books we’re interested in
- Hunting, fishing and the outdoors
- Cars, movies, home improvements
Obviously that list is not exhaustive and is not indicative of all men. Some men actually do like looking at sunsets, oceans and scenery in general. Figure out YOUR guy!
We want someone that is our friend, our buddy. Someone we can share things with that actually gives a damn about what we’re saying.
You say you want a man that listens to you without “fixing things”. Sometimes we want the same, but often, believe it or not, and probably more often than not, if we are sharing a frustration with you, we ARE looking for advice. We WANT to fix things that are broken.
When instead, we get doe eyed silence in a face brooding with understanding, THAT can be frustrating to us! I know guys that take that kind of “emphatic understanding” as raw stupidity. We want to theorize, hypothesize, maybe we even want a little bit of empathetic righteous outrage (justifiable or not)!
Just don’t be surprised that we totally 180 on you and start defending the person or events we were JUST griping about. That’s because in our minds we are trying to build them back up so we can respect them. All you have to do there is put forth a token effort of standing the ground of the argument, allowing it to naturally transition to something else. OK, so I’ll grant you that can be somewhat confusing.
When we’re talking to our other male friends they’re probably giving us a hard time and being funny, because guys do that to feel better about serious problems, but then they’re turning around and asking questions, giving examples of how they think they’d handle it. Watch guys talk to each other, you might learn something. 😉
Relationship Critical Moments – This is Important!
You want to know that a man that you love is going to fight for you, that he’s going to be there when you need him, right? You want to know that he loves you above all else, right?
Men want that too. There will be critical moments in your relationship, call them tests if you want to, though they’re more like doubts within his mind than anything else. Your actions and answers to bizarre questions are either going to reinforce the negative or the positive.
These critical moments can make or break a man, and consequently a relationship, and you likely won’t even know he (or the relationship) has been broken…until it’s too late!
When a man pulls away, believe it or not, many times it’s because they have doubts. Doubts about YOUR commitment. Doubts on whether or not you’re playing him for a fool, wondering if, when someone else comes along, your head will turn.
This is only one aspect out of myriad scenarios, understand that.
Also, understand that what it boils down to is; can he trust you? Will you fight for him? Because in his mind, he’d fight for you and he wants to know that you’d do the same.
Like many women, you want to respect his beliefs, his decisions and his seeming need for space. But you’re thinking from a woman’s point of view again!
There are of course times he needs his space, but there are likely going to be certain emotional hints that prelude the event, question, or action. Things like a sudden shift in emotion either to very serious, or jovial. Perhaps he’s drawing out his words slightly like he might be pensive about what he’s going to say.
He wants you to take charge in that situation. As strong as we like to come off, we know in our hearts that there are going to be times that we are weak, we need to know that you will be there for us in our time of need, to be our strength when we cannot be strong, without judging our weakness.
Want to Know How to Rekindle Your Man’s Heart?
This can be a difficult thing, and I’ve probably said a few things that you may not agree with, or that may have offended you. The truth is often offensive.
If you feel like you’d like to be closer to your man, or if you feel like he might be pulling away and want to know more about what exists in a man’s heart. Then you should take a look at the review of “Why Men Pull away – Discover What He’s Really Thinking (But Would Never Tell You to Your Face)”.
If you’ve stuck with me this far, you’ll probably benefit a great deal from the information in that review.
Let me know if you have any thoughts, good or bad, questions or comments about this post using the comment system below.